


A new leaf

by earlsmokey



Category: ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Drama, Heartbreak, M/M, Musical Instruments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-26 14:13:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20027629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlsmokey/pseuds/earlsmokey
Summary: Summertime heat is intoxicating, along with all of the free time Giwook suddenly has. These kinds of stories hardly ever end well, but Giwook’s only sixteen. He trusts Hyungu unconditionally, and his eyes light up with genuine joy every time they speak.To him Hyungu is unbelievably cool, and, without a doubt, mature. He’s already in college and has to balance his classes with his performances. His band does gigs here and there, sometimes even accepting free ones. The sheer thought of it makes Giwook squeal. Oh, how much he wants to be a part of this mysterious world, hidden behind the doors of various bars and rehearsal rooms! He dreams of old amplifiers and low, cramped stages, and dust floating through the air. The spotlights are so hot, they burn, and he tumbles in his bed, throwing off the blanket.





	A new leaf

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Светлая полоса](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/502594) by earlsmokey. 

_Minami – Kawaki wo Ameku_

– Hyu-ung, I can’t do it! My hands are too soft! – Giwook whines. His fingertips are riddled with bright red lines. He takes a break (one of many) to blow on them in a desperate attempt to ease the pain.

– Come on, who of us wanted to learn to play? – Hyungu asks firmly, almost in a teacher-like manner, but softens almost immediately. – Everyone has it hard at the start. Want me to kiss it better? It’ll help, I promise.

Giwook doesn’t even need that promise to believe, what Kang says. He practically melts at his every word anyway.

Summertime heat is intoxicating, along with all of the free time Giwook suddenly has. His throat is stiff with unreasonable excitement, while he gently holds the other’s guitar in his arms. These kinds of stories hardly ever end well, but Giwook’s only sixteen. He trusts Hyungu unconditionally, and his eyes light up with genuine joy every time they speak. Goosebumps shoot up his leg, as soon as his bare knee brushes against the rough fabric of the other’s jeans.

To him Hyungu is unbelievably cool, and, without a doubt, mature. He’s already in college and has to balance his classes with his performances. His band does gigs here and there, sometimes even accepting free ones. The sheer thought of it makes Giwook squeal. Oh, how much he wants to be a part of this mysterious world, hidden behind the doors of various bars and rehearsal rooms! He dreams of old amplifiers and low, cramped stages, and dust floating through the air. The spotlights are so hot, they burn, and he tumbles in his bed, throwing off the blanket.

Giwook is such a child, but Hyungu, for some reason, keeps hanging out with him, agrees to teach him some basics. He ruffles Lee’s hair with his huge, hot palm and praises him even for the tiniest of things. He says, he loves the sparkle in Giwook’s eyes, and gives him a gentle smile. All of this care makes Giwook feel all soft and warm inside. It’s as if his heart awakens, like the first spring flowers, getting ready to bloom. He opens up and becomes unusually playful and gentle, falling deeper and deeper in love with every evening they spend together.

– Once more from the top? – Hyungu asks, and Lee nods so hard, it looks like his head might fly clear off his neck.

Slowly and clumsily he makes the strings sing. Kang shuts his eyes. He’s all ears, as if he’s never heard anything better. The tips of Giwook’s ears turn bright red, blush quickly spreading across his face. All of a sudden, he’s all hot and flustered, but losing his concentration is a no-no. He’s so in his element, that he unknowingly sticks the tip of his tongue out.

One could say all of this effort pays off – he finishes the piece cleanly. The cursed bar chord turns out muffled and ugly, though. He droops, sad and ashamed about his failure, but is quickly forced out of it. Hyungu stares at him with a wide smile. He gives Giwook a small nod.

– You did good! A tad more work, and you’ll have your first song under your belt. – he says, and Lee’s ready to blast off. “First song”. Doesn’t it sound like a thing to take pride in? It’s a real achievement!

Giwook doesn’t get the time to bask in his pride, though: Hyungu carefully moves the guitar over to his own lap, holding it down with his left hand, his right gently wrapping around the other’s wrist. Heat spreads up Giwook’s arm, and he’s not sure if it’s his own embarrassment or the heat of Kang’s skin against his own. He suddenly remembers something…

Turns out, Hyungu remembers as well, and he isn’t about to go back on his promises. He touches each of Giwook’s fingertips with his lips. It’s just a few light pecks, but Lee’s shaking so violently, that Hyungu can feel it. A faint smile blooms on his lips.

Giwook is dazed. Time slows down, almost coming to a stop. Each quick touch echoes through his whole body, and he can’t help, but shiver. He feels good. So good, that he simultaneously feels like dying that instant, and living forever just to experience this once more.

– Damn, your hands really are soft. – Hyungu points out all of a sudden, already releasing Giwook’s wrist from his grip. – Like a baby’s… I should’ve changed the strings to nylon.

The very next time they meet, his guitar is equipped with brand new strings: white and soft, clearly nylon, instead of the usual steel.

***

– Hold up… He did **_what_**?! – the voice on the other side immediately shakes off any of the lifeless, but polite tone it previously had. Dongmyeong either drops something or slams it onto the table. Giwook rolls over to his stomach and lets out a stupid giggle. It’s probably already been at least half an hour of him pestering Son, spoon-feeding him all of the useless info about Hyungu and how cool he is. Dongmyeong’s already used to these calls, so he doesn’t interfere, and, probably, doesn’t even pay attention. This time, though… Even he is shaken, and for some reason that excites Giwook even more.

– I can send you a pic, if you don’t believe me! – Lee exclaims, but the words come out quiet, as if he’s sharing a secret. – I’m looking at it right now… And it’s looking at me.

– Damn… – Dongmyeong exhales. – And the case? The case, too?

– Giwook catches himself shaking his head, even though his friend can’t see it. An awkward smile gently touches his lips. – He still needs his for his other guitar. Besides, he said, that a plain black one wouldn’t suit me. – Lee pauses. His face feels hot, and he’s probably blushing, like crazy. – …He said we’ll go pick one up together.

– Wow… You know, I’m not gay, but I would totally – no homo – kiss him for that.

– I did!

In all honesty, Giwook has already mentioned that, but he decides not to bring that up and pretend, like he believes, that Dongmyeong listened to him attentively all this time. Besides, he called just to clear his head. It’s not like he expected much of a reaction.

All of the different feelings swell up in his chest, and all of his jumbled thoughts scream the same: Hyungu! Hyungu and his warm, chapped lips; Hyungu and his coarse bleach-blonde hair. Giwook rolls over to the side, pulling his knees up to his chest. He feels like a schoolgirl, from a dumb teenage romcom. No, he becomes that exact schoolgirl, who can only think and talk about her crush. He sighs. The thought of his first love being none other, than his hyung, is still weird to Giwook. Kang may be as handsome, as a Greek God, but there’s definitely no femininity in him. The femininity, that boys are supposed to be attracted to… Giwook can’t help, but think, how much trouble he’d be in, if his parents ever found out.

The only one, who can rat him out is Dongmyeong, though, and that’s a comforting thought. There’s no reason for Son to do that, besides he probably doesn’t retain anything, that Giwook tells him. Well, except the fact, that his best friend is now officially dumb in love.

– Okay, then. I trust the justice has been served. – Dongmyeong giggles carelessly. – Don’t forget to breathe, please. Oh, and don’t play after 10 PM.

Lee lets out an indomitable sniff. Since he’s got the hang of basics, his desire to play has been stronger than ever, but the clock is almost ready to strike nine… Son is right, though. Giwook admits defeat and exhales a long, disgruntled “uh-huh”.

– Well, I gotta disconnect now. Dongju’s been giving me the stink eye for a while.

– Oh, scram, then! – Giwook exclaims, as if Dongmyeong’s going to physically leave him. Son gives his antics a hearty laugh and wishes him good night, before ending the call. Lee rolls over to his back, completely messing up the bedding. The ceiling’s still white as ever, and people still breathe air… Well, everybody, but Giwook, it seems like.

His lungs don’t accept air anymore. They feel full and heavy, like they’ve been filled with something dense and sticky. Giwook pulls a blank on what that could be, but he’s certain it’s pink and sparkly, like his whole being has been lately. He exhales sharply and glances at the opposing wall. There, leaned against it, is an acoustic guitar with a few stickers on the body. It’s seen better days: the polish is coming off in a few places and the neck rattles a little, but to Giwook it still seems like a genuine treasure. He’d probably kiss it, but instead he crawls across the room, sitting up at the edge of the carpet and takes it into his arms. It starts to sing, as soon as he touches the strings.

** _Soft, nylon strings._ **

Perhaps, Dongmyeong really is right, but only a reasonable person would understand that. The thing is, Giwook doesn’t care. Neighbors may start banging on the radiators, his furious mom might storm into the room, or, maybe, someone will even call the police, but Lee doesn’t consider all of that. Dongmyeong has never been in love, so he doesn’t understand what it’s like to be a trembling, melting mess, what it’s like to have all your thoughts jumbled. Giwook is overfilled with joy and love, and it makes him want to play… And sing, too, but he’s still too self-conscious about his voice, so he whispers more, than he actually sings, hoping, that lovers do actually have some sort of a spiritual link.

Somewhere in an entirely different part of town, Hyungu suddenly sneezes, disrupting the rehearsal. A gentle smile touches his lips. He knows exactly, who’s been thinking of him.

***

Giwook swiftly switches between the chords and the melody turns out smooth and beautiful. A few weeks ago, he wouldn’t have been able to even finish it, let alone play it so well. His fingertips don’t hurt anymore, even if he plays for hours, and the tabs he learns don’t escape his memory nearly as quickly. He doesn’t need the lessons anymore, but… He **_wants _**them to continue.

Hyungu gives him one polite smile after another, pretending to be impressed by Giwook’s persistence, but a second later he makes up another excuse not to meet his once beloved student for another week. Sometimes it’s the schoolwork he blames, sometimes it’s the “essential” rehearsals, and sometimes it’s just… Well, Giwook believes him at first. It’s a habit of sorts. Come on, it’s **_his _**Hyungu, his teacher, his friend, his… love. He can do no wrong!

His band performs at a usual schedule, though. Hyungu even has the nerve to post updates on his social media. He’s gorgeous, as per usual, and seems happy in these photos, so Lee lets it go for a while, until he notices a pattern. He hasn’t been invited to any of Hyungu’s performances in a while, and that’s what pushes Giwook to start doubting him. Is he really as perfect as he seemed at first?

All Giwook wants is an honest conversation, but Kang evades it each and every time. He promises to call back (and never does it), turns serious situations into stupid jokes and substitutes any explanations with physical affection. What he doesn’t know is that Giwook no longer melts from his every touch. To him it’s just someone’s rough lips on his cheek, and someone’s equally rough hands all over his body, the touches vulgar and unpleasant. It seems like Hyungu doesn’t want to do this either, but he’s trying to shut up both Giwook and his own consciousness with something, that used to work like a charm.

The keyword is “used to”.

A little over a month is left until Giwook’s seventeenth birthday, when he dares to stop Kang for the first time. He gently puts his hands over the other’s wrists, and… Hyungu understands. He sighs and takes a step back. He seems **_relieved_**.

When there are only two weeks to go, Giwook finally makes up his mind. He decides to catch Hyungu somewhere, where he won’t be able to escape, like he usually does. Somewhere, where he won’t be able to rely on vulgarity and lies. He’ll at least try to keep his good image in front of his friends, won’t he? That thought pushes Giwook to a dire measure.

That day he doesn’t go to his beloved light music club, nor does he join his classmates on their way home. Instead he heads straight to the bus stop. Soon enough, the bus brings him to a familiar dingy building. Giwook rushes through the hallways and pushes the door open only to be immediately blinded by the lights. He perseveres, taking a step inside. Someone sharply inhales, sucking air through their teeth. That’s when Lee’s eyes regain focus.

His soul seems detached from his body, awkwardly frozen at the doorstep. Never has he ever wanted death more, than he does in that exact moment.

Then each thought and wish leave his mind. All that’s left is the emptiness. He doesn’t even remember, how he sprints out of the building and back to the bus stop. Nobody’s chasing him, but he doesn’t slow down once, even though his lungs are ready to burst into flames. His face feels wet and stiff, but Giwook doesn’t realize he’s been crying, until he sees his reflection in the bus window.

He’s pathetic.

He’s barely familiar with that part of town, so all of the scenery quickly blends into an unidentifiable grey mass. Normally, Giwook would be dozing off, but as soon as he closes his eyes the bright lights shine through the darkness, and he sees it. He sees **_his _**Hyungu pinned to a wall, somebody else’s hands playing with his hair…

Giwook isn’t a child anymore. He knows exactly what he walked in on, but why does it hurt so bad? He hasn’t been enjoying spending time with Hyungu as much. He knows full well, he shouldn’t have fallen for the rock-star image. Then why… Why can’t he calm down?

ㅤ [To: ass]

ㅤ ㅤ[19:05] come over

[19:05] please

ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ [19:05] i cant handle it

Somewhere in the same block, as Giwook, Dongmyeong reads these messages and turns white as paper, immediately rushing to the hallway and throwing on a jacket. His gut feeling has never betrayed him. This time it was right, as well, but his friend couldn’t accept it. Giwook trusts people too easily, he lowers his guard too quickly, but this time it’s worse, than it’s ever been, Son can feel it. He’s already running down the street, when he texts back, disregarding the cold wind.

[To: Pip-squeak]

[19:07] Omw, don’t you dare do something stupid.

***

Giwook cracks his neck, then his knuckles. He’s been preparing for that moment for a few days now, but seeing the familiar interface of the website, he feels a little odd. What is he doing, again? Oh, right…

_“In decent condition. Strings – nylon. The body has a few stickers. The neck rattles a little, but it isn’t a disturbance. A new case and a pack of strings as a free addition”_

It takes him around thirty minutes to word this properly, but he posts the advert without any hesitation. In fact, as soon as the site notifies him, that the post is now visible to all of the visitors, Giwook feels strangely relieved. He knows, that the guitar won’t stay with him for long. There are too many newbies, eager to try their hand at playing, especially, for such a low price.

Giwook lets out a bitter snicker and switches to the next tab. Familiar rows of photos are there to greet him. Smoke, floating through the spotlight, old amplifiers on a low stage… All of that angers him now, but deep down inside he still feels attached to it, to that life of an underground artist. Maybe, one day…

He didn’t open this tab to dream about his future, though.

The mouse wheel doesn’t even make a full turn, before Giwook sees, what he’s been looking for. The smirk on his face turns into a full-blown smile. It’s painful just to look, but he knows it’ll be the last time he ever has to do this.

Hyungu is in that photo. He’s just as beautiful and just as happy, as he was before. The only difference is, that it’s not Giwook, kissing his cheek. It’s the vocalist of his band. The vocalist, that’s “just an ex”. The vocalist, who Hyungu “isn’t attracted to anymore”. That’s so peculiar… If he isn’t attracted to this man anymore, then how did so many of their couple photos appear on Kang’s page? Truly a mystery…

Giwook scrolls back to the top of the page and, without skipping a beat, presses on the “Unsubscribe” button. He doesn’t need this person anymore, and this thought makes him feel warm and cozy, for the first time in months. He gently closes the laptop.

A ray of sunshine peeks between the curtains. Giwook’s legs feel tired and heavy, but he forces himself to go across the room and let some more light in. A group of kids runs past, laughing at something, that Lee doesn’t see. A dog starts barking somewhere far away. May’s coming to its end, but his life doesn’t end there. Giwook smiles widely and genuinely. A first in a long, long time. His hands are soft once again, but there’s no one to kiss them anymore.

Seems like it’s the beginning of a new leaf for Giwook.

**_His _**new leaf.


End file.
